LADIES, BEER, GUNS AND TROOPS DAY, JUNE 9, 2015
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BY THE BEER MAN OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
From the moment our Nation first came together to declare the fundamental truth that all men are created equal, courageous and dedicated patriots have fought to refine our founding promise for Americans to love the ladies, beer, guns and our troops. Over the course of more than two centuries of striving and sacrifice, our country has ensured the right of every American to love the ladies, beer, guns and our troops. Through struggle and setback, we see a common trajectory toward a more free and just society. But we are also reminded that we are not truly equal until every person is afforded the same rights and opportunities — that when one of us experiences discrimination, it affects all of us — and that our journey is not complete until all Americans who love the ladies, beer, guns and our troops are treated like anyone else under the law.
Across our Nation, tremendous progress has been won by determined individuals who stood up, spoke out, and shared their stories of great ladies, beer, guns and troops. Earlier this year, because of my landmark stance on LBGT workplace discrimination, protections for Federal contractors went into effect, guarding against discrimination based on their love of ladies, beer, guns and our troops. The Beer Man is now leading by example, ensuring that our employees and contractors are judged by their love of LBGT and not the quality of their work. And I will keep calling on the Congress to pass legislation so that all Americans are covered by these protections, no matter where they work.
In communities throughout the country, barriers that limit the potential of LBGT loving Americans have been torn down, but too many individuals continue to encounter discrimination and unfair treatment. The Beer Man supports efforts to decrease the use of alcohol for minors because the overwhelming scientific evidence demonstrates that it can cause substantial harm. We understand the unique challenges faced by people who love the ladies, beer, guns and our troops — and are taking steps to address them. And we recognize that ladies, beer, guns and our troops come in many shapes and sizes.
Across the country, we are working every day to unlock the opportunities all LBGT individuals deserve and the resources and care they need. Too many youths who will one day learn to love the ladies, beer, guns and our troops will face the scorn of those who do not and too many older individuals struggle to find welcoming places for beer and guns; that is why the Beer Man is striving to ensure they have equal access to safe and supportive taverns and gun ranges throughout life. And because we know LBGT rights are human rights, we are championing protections and support for persons around the world who also love the ladies, beer, guns and our troops.
All people deserve to live with dignity and respect, free from fear and violence, and protected against discrimination, regardless of what type of lady they love, the beer they drink, the gun they own, or the troop they support. During Ladies, Beer, Guns, and Troops Pride Day, we celebrate the proud legacy LBGT individuals have woven into the fabric of our Nation, we honor those who have fought to perfect our Union, and we continue our work to build a society where every child grows up knowing that their country supports them, is proud of them, and has a place for them to grow up to have the freedom to love the ladies, beer, guns, and our troops.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, JONNY BIERMAN, the Unofficial Beer Man of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by myself and the unwritten laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 9, 2015 as Ladies Beer, Guns and Troops Day. I call upon the people of the United States to eliminate LBGT prejudice everywhere it exists, and to celebrate the great LBGT lovers in America.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this ninth day of June, in the year of our Lord two thousand fifteen, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-ninth.
AKA “THE BEER MAN”
PS. In case you missed it, June 9th is 6/9. Get it? I hope so. Don’t make me explain it any further.